On Nostalgia

In this week’s episode Della and I talk about a recent trip back to our hometown for two of our friends’ wedding. During the conversation we branch into nostalgia and how trips home make us feel. Since this trip, nostalgia has been on the forefront of my mind and I want to share more with you:

Walking down Farnham street heading to a rehearsal dinner, every step brought back new memories and a swell of emotions. I passed a yoga studio and felt an awareness of tightness in my shoulders and remembered feeling that spot stretch as I threaded the needle for the first time. Another block saw a now closed Indian restaurant where I’d shared dinners with friends and the memories of laughing at silly jokes over wine as the smell of garam masala hung in the air. A few minutes later, I came to a bar where I went with my brother before he moved out of the city and a club that was always 50% too bright for what people were doing inside. My journey was more of a stroll down memory lane than a trip from A to B. Finally I arrived at the brewery hosting the dinner, where I’d been on one too many bad first dates, and I was greeted by the smiles of friends who I hadn’t seen for too long. It was so comforting. It felt like stepping back into a happier, more straightforward time in my life. Part of me even started weighing up the possibilities of moving back and what my life would be like. It was a fantastic evening with delicious food and a lot of laughs. I was happy.

As I was getting a second beer, I looked at the adjoining door to what used to be an incredible Nepalese dumpling shop. Momo Kathmandu Express was one of the last meals I ever shared with my sister, and it had been converted into a barbecue place. As I took the first sip, I snapped back to the moment, the mirage of nostalgia shown for the hollow reconstruction it was. I was longing for a time that has passed, and wishing to return to it. And unfortunately, the reality is that you can’t. You aren’t the same person that existed in those moments, but you get to carry that person and their memories with you everyday. Nostalgia is like the blinders on a racehorse, blocking out all of the negative things that might’ve happened and whatever led you to seek a new adventure in the first place. It brings the happy memories in with laser focus and sends you racing through fonder times like a horse springing from the gate. 

Like every emotion though, nostalgia serves a purpose. It reminds you of the connections you felt to people and a place you no longer occupy. It brought back stories that I got to share that night with the people who I made those memories with. It made it easier to reconnect with people whose lives had drifted a different way from mine. I’m grateful for that and I think I’ve started to reflect on my current life situation in a new way. 

What are the things in my life right now that I will feel nostalgia for in the future? 

I don’t have to wait to feel nostalgia for those things. I can, and should, be grateful for them now. I should express that to the people closest to me and the people responsible for each and every one of these things. I plan to do just that in my personal life, and maybe you’ll get to hear or read about it in the future. 

There is one step I want to take right now–so listeners, thank you. Della and I have committed to doing this stupidity for a year and reevaluating there, and we already have so much planned. Thank you for supporting the show in whatever ways you do, you’ve given us opportunities that we will remember fondly for the rest of our lives. We have already gotten to make so many ridiculous memories and we still have eleven months, at a minimum. Stay tuned and hit the subscribe button to join us on this wild ride.

—Collin

https://open.spotify.com/episode/39NP3uc1cMRMWBIFsBma1Z?si=97972ea4e18b4800